Comments on you are not your job - kendra's news: Approaching 30 (Part 2)... Well, what did you expe...

mmm....that's an interesting take on things. what...

2009-12-11T21:23:45.105-05:00

mmm....that's an interesting take on things. what you're describing as god's work in other cultures could be interpreted as Mother Nature. especially when it comes to your IUD -- Mother Nature, or in this case your body, was telling you it was bad for you, and lo-and-behold, she was right! As for moving to Atlanta, one might even say you should consider the people you surround yourself with, and talk to -- that clearly could bias the comments you hear from people.

but i guess that's kind of beside the point: You believe god is talking to you and telling you things, while someone else in the same situation could say it was Nature, or what the heart desires, even -- and those are all valid feelings and ok for me.

i guess where i get caught up is how one can go from following what they think god is telling them to do to believing whole-heartedly in all the crap that comes along with organized religion these days. well...i use "all the crap" pretty loosely here, and organized religion these days picks and chooses what to focus on, normally with the churche's best interest in mind.

at any rate, Happy Birthday! and trust me, you don't need to go to Chicago -- it's kind of lame. ;)

Stephen, that's a perfectly reasonable question, b...

2009-11-30T15:55:44.588-05:00

Stephen, that's a perfectly reasonable question, but not one that's easily answered in a blog comment. I'll keep it as brief as I can but know that there's a lot more to it than this.

I do believe that God speaks to people in different ways, in different circumstances.

When we were praying about where to move, I had a very strange dream that was nothing like dreams I usually have, in which God was clearly showing me that I needed to trust Him to lead and put the pieces together. Then the next day, we had a couple of people tell us they felt like God was saying we should move to Atlanta, and we kind of laughed at that. But in the days that followed, we had a number of different people in different circumstances, and out of the blue, suggest Atlanta as well... for example an old coworker I hadn't talked to in ages IMed me and told me that they would be hiring soon in Atlanta and I should apply (that's where I work now, I was hired without actually interviewing... and just a couple days after I started the agency instituted a hiring freeze that has yet to be lifted, more than two years later). Even when all of that was happening we still balked and just spent a lot of time praying about whether or not Atlanta was really where the Lord wanted us... we eventually felt a peace about the idea and both Chris and I just had a sense that this is where the Lord wanted us, even though it wasn't where we would have ever imagined moving. But it took a lot of different things happening (the dream, people bringing it up, prayer, and a free place to live for 2 months while we got jobs and such lined up) for us to believe that it was the Lord leading and not just our imaginations. Plus, once we got to Atlanta we immediately felt at home, and all our needs (for jobs, home, fellowship, friendship, etc) were met, and that was the best confirmation possible.

Then when I was praying about what to do with birth control, I had a sense that I needed to have my IUD removed. And when I asked, "Then what should I do?" there was a voice in my head that was not mine that said, "Nothing. Trust." I knew that wasn't my idea because doing nothing for birth control was NEVER anywhere in my mind. I remember saying, "No way, I know what that means. I'm not talking about this right now. Talk to me about it in another month." For the next week I just kept having this nagging that I couldn't push out of my head that said I needed to get it removed. When I ignored it, I started having complications from the IUD the next couple of days (bleeding, pain, etc) until I HAD to make an appointment to have it removed. This whole time the nagging voice wouldn't stop. Then I was talking to a friend about the IUD situation and she asked, "what will you do now?" and I finally, very timidly, said out loud, "I think I'm supposed to do nothing." She responded with, "Yeah, I think you're right." And only then did I talk to Chris about it, because I was terrified of the idea and I knew that once I told Chris he would hold me to it. I still was pretty terrified of the idea but the nagging voice stopped once I had obeyed it. I want to remind you that it was in the midst of prayer and of confirmation from other events / people ... not just me having a feeling about something. At any rate, in the course of the next few months my heart slowly warmed to the idea of being a parent... so that whereas if I had gotten pregnant right after going off the IUD I would have probably burst into tears, by the time we actually got pregnant we were both really excited about it. Again, this is something I have to attribute to the Lord's leading because it's not something I would have done on my own. And yet again, Zeke has been the biggest blessing on our lives, but one I never thought I wanted, and wouldn't have pursued on my own.

Hope this helps.

i have to ask, how does he guide you? does he say...

2009-11-25T15:58:22.115-05:00

i have to ask, how does he guide you? does he say things or is it just something that you feel? and if it is something that you feel, then how do you differentiate it from awareness of what you intrinsically, in your heart, desire?

Stephen, I understand why it would seem that way f...

2009-11-17T11:06:09.998-05:00

Stephen, I understand why it would seem that way from your perspective. But as a Christ follower, I do believe that the Lord guides our steps. We don't always follow His leading, but if we do, we will find blessings there. I've learned the hard way that following my own path is not nearly as rewarding as following His lead, and I count it as my greatest accomplishment of my 20s that I've learned to follow Him even when it doesn't make sense at first. That's when all the best things have happened in my life. Rather than feeling like "abdicating" or "puppeteering," it's actually very freeing and gratifying, as I look back and can clearly see God's fingerprints on all aspects of my life.

But I do understand how that can sound like foolishness to someone who hasn't experienced the same.

On another note, you should be very proud of your accomplishments. You rock, and I miss you.

nice to see you're going through the self-reflecti...

2009-11-16T16:26:48.443-05:00

nice to see you're going through the self-reflection that comes with turning 30 -- i just went through it and it's a really fun exercise!!

i have to say, though, it is unsettling to me how you seem to be abdicating your life to what "the lord" wants -- saying that his plan is better than yours, etc etc. in my experience, i'm not where i thought i would be when i was 20, but i recognize that where i am now is due to actions that i have taken, not puppeteering on the part of some supreme being. and i'm perfectly fine with that -- it makes me appreciate my accomplishments even more. i would suggest you try to give yourself some credit for what's gone on in your life: you'll find turning 30 to be exhilarating in that light.

enjoy your 30s.

peace,
sjcm